When I got sick, I asked my husband for one simple thing: help with our two toddlers. Instead, he told me I \u201cdid nothing\u201d because I stayed home. So I decided to show him exactly what my nothing was worth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I developed asthma about a year ago, and most of the time it barely affected my life. I took my medication, kept an inhaler nearby, and carried on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then I caught a brutal cold.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Normally, I could have rested.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Within two days, my asthma flared so badly that lying down made me cough. I spent two nights sleeping upright against pillows, waking every hour because my chest felt tight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Normally, I could have rested.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Unfortunately, I have a two-year-old and a three-year-old.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And toddlers do not care whether you\u2019ve slept.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wore a mask around the kids and tried not to cough near them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At six-thirty each morning, somebody still wanted breakfast. Somebody needed a diaper changed. Somebody spilled milk. Somebody demanded the blue cup instead of the identical green cup.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
By the second morning, I felt awful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wore a mask around the kids and tried not to cough near them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Meanwhile, Derek, my husband, went about his normal routine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I handled almost everything during the day, and Derek did a few things when he got home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He works full-time and leaves around eight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I stay home with the children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Usually, that arrangement worked because I handled almost everything during the day, and Derek did a few things when he got home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That week, though, I needed more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
After another awful night, I found him drinking coffee in the kitchen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI slept maybe two hours. I\u2019m coughing constantly, and the kids are climbing all over me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDerek, can you work from home today?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He frowned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I stared at him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBecause I\u2019m sick.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI know you\u2019re sick.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou stay home, so you have to take care of the kids.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI slept maybe two hours. I\u2019m coughing constantly, and the kids are climbing all over me. I need one day to recover.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He crossed his arms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou stay home, so you have to take care of the kids.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I thought I had misheard him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t do anything anyway. I\u2019m the only one who works around here.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Our son was throwing cereal under the table while our daughter yelled because her banana had broken in half.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For a second, I forgot about my cough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I just looked at him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Our son was throwing cereal under the table while our daughter yelled because her banana had broken in half.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Derek glanced at his watch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI can\u2019t just skip work whenever you\u2019re tired.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019m not tired. I\u2019m sick.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I made lunch while sitting on a kitchen stool because standing made me dizzy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSame difference.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was too exhausted to fight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cFine.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That day was miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I made lunch while sitting on a kitchen stool because standing made me dizzy. My son refused his nap. By four, I was counting the minutes until Derek came home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The next morning, I realized I was nearly out of one medication.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I told myself he had been stressed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Maybe he would apologize.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The next morning, I realized I was nearly out of one medication.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Derek was putting on his shoes when I asked, \u201cCan you stop at the pharmacy before work?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh God. What else do you need?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He groaned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh God. What else do you need?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNothing else. Just the prescription.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI have to work.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt\u2019s ten minutes away.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThen go yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou should be grateful you even have me. No other man would put up with a sick wife.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I stared at him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDerek, I\u2019m asking you to pick up medication because I\u2019m struggling to breathe comfortably.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He grabbed his keys.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNo. I\u2019m not doing it. You should be grateful you even have me. No other man would put up with a sick wife.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I actually laughed once because the sentence was so ridiculous.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He got louder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I stood in the hallway listening to his car pull away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou stay home, so you take care of everything!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then he slammed the door.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I stood in the hallway listening to his car pull away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Our daughter walked over holding a stuffed rabbit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMommy sad?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I crouched down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Instead, while the kids watched cartoons, I opened my laptop.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMommy\u2019s just sick, baby.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She hugged my leg.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Something in me shifted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wasn\u2019t going to scream at Derek.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wasn\u2019t going to send him twenty angry messages.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Instead, while the kids watched cartoons, I opened my laptop.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If what I did all day was \u201cnothing,\u201d I wondered how much it would cost to replace some of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The first thing I did was arrange pharmacy delivery. If Derek wouldn\u2019t spend ten minutes picking up the medication I needed to breathe comfortably, I wasn\u2019t going to drag two toddlers across town while I was sick just to prove I could manage without him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then I kept going.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If what I did all day was \u201cnothing,\u201d I wondered how much it would cost to replace some of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I started with the things that would keep me from dragging two toddlers through stores while I could barely breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Prepared meals for several days.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And finally, I ordered one thing I knew Derek would notice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Toddler snacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Diapers and wipes delivered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Disposable plates so I could skip some dishes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then I booked a laundry pickup.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I scheduled one professional cleaning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And finally, I ordered one thing I knew Derek would notice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The groceries and prepared meals arrived first, and I put them away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A large indoor play enclosure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It would take up part of the living room, but it would let the kids play safely beside me while I sat down instead of chasing them every second.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I paid extra for same-day delivery.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The groceries and prepared meals arrived first, and I put them away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The laundry pickup came and went.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It came nearly to my shoulder and took up half the space beside the front door.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The cleaning appointment was scheduled for later that week.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But the last delivery stayed on the porch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The box was enormous.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It came nearly to my shoulder and took up half the space beside the front door.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A full-color picture of the assembled play enclosure covered one side of the carton, complete with smiling toddlers sitting inside it. There was no mistaking what it was.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I heard his car door.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was sitting on the couch when Derek came home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I heard his car door.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then silence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh God!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The front door flew open.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
His voice was loud enough that our son started laughing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat have you done?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I looked up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHi.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNO. Not this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
His voice was loud enough that our son started laughing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Derek pointed toward the porch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat is in that thing?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Before I could answer, someone knocked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSomething I need.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhy is there a box the size of a refrigerator outside our house?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Before I could answer, someone knocked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was our neighbor Linda.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She looked at Derek, then at the enormous carton.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cEverything okay? I heard yelling.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Her eyes went back to the box.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Derek\u2019s face turned beet red.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAnd now I have to ask. What on earth is in there?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Another neighbor across the street had stepped onto her porch and was openly staring.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Derek\u2019s face turned beet red.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cEverything\u2019s fine.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I smiled at Linda.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt\u2019s a play enclosure for the kids.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou bought that?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She blinked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThat whole thing?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cApparently.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Derek looked at me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou bought that?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI did.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Derek reached for the door.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Linda glanced between us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell, now I\u2019m curious why.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Derek reached for the door.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe\u2019re fine, Linda.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I said, \u201cDerek told me I don\u2019t do anything, so I\u2019m replacing some of the nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Linda looked at him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Linda gave me the smallest smile and headed home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then at the enormous box.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cExpensive nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Derek\u2019s face went even redder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Linda gave me the smallest smile and headed home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Derek shut the door.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then he noticed the receipts on the table.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
His eyes widened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat did you spend?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I handed them to him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
His eyes widened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAre you serious?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cCompletely.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe can\u2019t spend money like this every week.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cExactly.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I pointed toward the first receipt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He stopped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I pointed toward the first receipt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cPrepared meals. I don\u2019t have to cook while I\u2019m sick.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The next.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cCleaning service.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then another.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAnd that giant box?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cLaundry pickup.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He stared at me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAnd that giant box?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cA play enclosure. The kids can play safely beside me while I recover.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Derek dropped the receipts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThis is insane.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI never said you literally do nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNo. It\u2019s what happens when some of the things I supposedly don\u2019t do have to be done by somebody else.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
His jaw tightened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI never said you literally do nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou said those exact words yesterday.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI was frustrated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou said them again this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I picked up the notebook beside me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He opened his mouth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I picked up the notebook beside me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat is that?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThings I\u2019ve done today.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He looked suspicious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I opened it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThis isn\u2019t me saying my job is harder than yours.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBreakfast. Dishes. Diaper changes. Getting them dressed. Lunch. Cleaning up lunch. Nap routine. Snacks. Keeping them occupied while I tried not to cough on them.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I turned the page.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAnd that\u2019s before dinner, baths, bedtime, laundry, groceries, appointments, and everything else.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOkay, Megan.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThen what do you want?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I kept my voice calm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThis isn\u2019t me saying my job is harder than yours. I\u2019m not interested in competing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He sat down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThen what do you want?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI want you to choose.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cChoose what?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou\u2019re sick. You\u2019ll feel better next week.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe keep paying people to do part of my nothing, or you start doing some of it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He stared at me for several seconds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then he said, \u201cYou\u2019re sick. You\u2019ll feel better next week.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There it was.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He thought this was temporary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I smiled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Derek watched a woman carry supplies upstairs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe\u2019ll see.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Two days later, the cleaning service arrived.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Derek watched a woman carry supplies upstairs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHow much is this costing again?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I told him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He winced.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI could clean the bathrooms.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cFor cleaning bathrooms?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAnd the kitchen and floors.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI could clean the bathrooms.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cGreat.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He looked surprised by how quickly I answered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019ll cancel the next visit.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
By six, the bathrooms were untouched.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Saturday came.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Derek slept until nine. He made coffee, watched television with the kids, and repeatedly announced that he would clean \u201cin a minute.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
By six, the bathrooms were untouched.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He finally noticed me walking past with towels.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou\u2019re seriously not going to do it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou said you would.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhenever you want. It\u2019s your problem.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He stared toward the bathroom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cTonight?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhenever you want. It\u2019s your problem.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He cleaned it after dinner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then the laundry pickup charge appeared on our account.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThat\u2019s ridiculous,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI can wash clothes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI agree.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI can wash clothes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cPerfect. Laundry is yours now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He laughed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAll the laundry?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMegan, where are the towels?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He stopped laughing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The first week, he turned several of the children\u2019s light shirts pink with a red sock.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The next weekend, he discovered too late that nobody had clean bath towels.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMegan, where are the towels?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cProbably in your laundry.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
His expression was almost offended.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That night, I told Derek we needed another conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then he remembered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That was when I realized something.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If I still had to remember when laundry needed doing, tell him what was running low, and answer every question, I was still managing it. His hands might have been doing the work, but the responsibility was still mine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That night, I told Derek we needed another conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He looked alarmed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI want you to take responsibility.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHow expensive is this one?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cPotentially free.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He sat down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI don\u2019t want occasional help,\u201d I said. \u201cI want you to take responsibility.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Laundry became his.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If someone ran out of pajamas, Derek solved it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He also took Thursday dinner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If detergent ran out, Derek noticed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He also took Thursday dinner, both weekend breakfasts, and bath time four nights each week.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He resisted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhy four?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBecause there are seven nights.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou\u2019re home all day.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Maybe he was agreeing because he wanted the argument to end.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAnd you\u2019re their father every day.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He went quiet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Eventually, he said, \u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But I still didn\u2019t know whether he understood the difference between doing a chore and actually being responsible for it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Maybe he was agreeing because he wanted the argument to end.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So I stopped reminding him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sometimes he waited so long that I suspected he expected me to give in and do it myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The adjustment was messy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He forgot things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He complained.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sometimes he waited so long that I suspected he expected me to give in and do it myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Once the cold finally cleared and I could sleep lying down again, I realized the argument had changed something that getting better physically hadn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Once I recovered, I made another change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wasn\u2019t willing to go back to managing everything just because I was healthy enough to do it again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Once I recovered, I made another change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I found a small local playgroup we could comfortably afford and enrolled the kids two afternoons each week.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Derek asked, \u201cWhy? You don\u2019t need childcare if you\u2019re home.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI want those afternoons.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cFor what?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For years, all my time had belonged to the house.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I thought about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For years, all my time had belonged to the house, the kids, errands, appointments, or Derek\u2019s schedule.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know yet.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He waited.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I shrugged.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI might read. I might take a class. I might sit somewhere quiet and drink coffee.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Over the next few months, our house changed in small ways.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThat\u2019s it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThat\u2019s enough.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He didn\u2019t argue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Over the next few months, our house changed in small ways.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not magically.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Derek still complained sometimes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One Thursday, Derek came home carrying detergent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I still had to stop myself from fixing problems that belonged to him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But slowly, I stopped being the only person who noticed what needed doing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One Thursday, Derek came home carrying detergent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I hadn\u2019t asked him to buy it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He set it on the counter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A few months earlier, I would have been the only person who noticed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe were almost out.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I looked at the bottle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A few months earlier, I would have been the only person who noticed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He had finally seen something before I did.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Our marriage still needed work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I stopped accepting the idea that financial income made his time more valuable than mine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One decent stretch of parenting didn\u2019t erase the way he had spoken to me when I was sick and struggling to breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Learning to notice detergent didn\u2019t make me forget the morning he\u2019d refused to spend ten minutes picking up medication when I could barely breathe comfortably.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It didn\u2019t erase the insult either.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But I stopped accepting the idea that financial income made his time more valuable than mine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Several months after the argument, another large carton appeared on our porch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat did you order?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My husband came home, saw it, and froze.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He opened the door carefully.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat did you order?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I smiled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNothing for the house.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Inside was a sewing machine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For one second, I expected him to ask the price.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I had loved sewing before the kids were born. I had sold my old machine because we needed space for a crib and never replaced it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Derek looked at the box.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then at me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For one second, I expected him to ask the price.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This was one thing that was just mine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Instead, he said:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOkay. Where are we putting it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Months earlier, the biggest box on our porch had been something I needed so I could keep taking care of everyone else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This was one thing that was just mine.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
When I got sick, I asked my husband for one simple thing: help with our two toddlers. Instead, he told me I \u201cdid nothing\u201d because I stayed home. So I decided to show him exactly what my nothing was worth. I developed asthma about a year ago, and most of the time it barely affected …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":20253,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20252","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cehre.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20252","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cehre.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cehre.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cehre.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cehre.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=20252"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/cehre.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20252\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20254,"href":"https:\/\/cehre.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20252\/revisions\/20254"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cehre.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/20253"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cehre.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=20252"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cehre.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=20252"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cehre.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=20252"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}