When Derek and I split up after nine years, I let him have almost everything. The big TV. The leather couch. His precious boat. I didn\u2019t fight for any of it. I just wanted out \u2014 and I wanted Biscuit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Biscuit is a seven-year-old golden retriever with one floppy ear and a habit of sleeping with his head on my feet. I picked him out of a shelter when he was eight weeks old. I took him to every vet appointment, every puppy class, every walk at 6 a.m. in the snow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Derek never walked him once. He called him \u201cthe shedding machine.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So when his lawyer\u2019s letter arrived saying Derek was requesting \u201cfull ownership of the family pet,\u201d I actually laughed. Then I cried. Because I knew exactly why. It was the one thing he knew would destroy me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIn this state, pets are legally property,\u201d my attorney, Janet, warned me. \u201cThe judge can just split assets. Derek paid for him with a joint card. It could go either way.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For three weeks I barely slept. Biscuit could tell something was wrong. He followed me from room to room and lay outside the bathroom door while I cried in the shower.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
On the morning of the hearing, Derek showed up in a brand-new suit, smirking. \u201cDon\u2019t worry,\u201d he said in the hallway. \u201cI\u2019ll send you pictures.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Judge Patricia Holloway listened to both sides for twenty minutes. Derek\u2019s lawyer showed the credit card receipt from the shelter. Janet showed vet records, training certificates, and two hundred photos of me and Biscuit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then the judge did something no one expected. She took off her reading glasses and asked, \u201cIs the dog here?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My neighbor was waiting outside with Biscuit, just in case. The bailiff brought him in on his leash, tail wagging at everyone like it was a party.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMr. Lawson, please stand by the jury box,\u201d the judge said. \u201cMs. Carter, by the door. Both of you, call him. No treats. No toys. Bailiff, when I say so, let him go.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Derek grinned and pulled something out of his pocket. I saw it glint. It was Biscuit\u2019s old squeaky toy \u2014 the one he went crazy for.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The judge nodded at the bailiff. He unclipped the leash. Biscuit looked at Derek. He looked at me. And then he started trotting \u2014 straight toward Derek.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Did Biscuit choose Derek \u2014 and what did my lawyer pull out of her folder next?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Derek squeezed the toy. Squeak. Biscuit\u2019s ears went up. My heart stopped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then Biscuit trotted right past Derek. Past the jury box. Past the lawyers\u2019 tables. He made a full lap of the courtroom, sniffed the court reporter\u2019s shoes, and then turned around and came barreling toward me at full speed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He knocked me flat on my back on the courtroom floor and lay on top of me, licking my face, whining, tail thumping like a drum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The bailiff laughed out loud. Even the court reporter was smiling. Judge Holloway put her hand over her mouth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Derek\u2019s face went purple. \u201cThat proves nothing. He just likes her perfume.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s when Janet stood up. \u201cYour Honor, there\u2019s one more exhibit I\u2019d like to submit. I was hoping I wouldn\u2019t need it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n She handed the judge a printed screenshot. It was an online marketplace listing, posted from Derek\u2019s account two days after he filed for ownership.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cGolden retriever, 7 yrs. Free to good home. Available after Nov. 20. New girlfriend\u2019s condo doesn\u2019t allow dogs.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n November 20 was the day after the hearing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A friend of mine had spotted it and sent it to me. Derek had used Biscuit\u2019s real photo \u2014 one I had taken at the lake.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The judge read it twice. Then she looked at Derek over her glasses for a very long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMr. Lawson, you asked this court for full ownership of an animal you planned to give away to a stranger the next day. I find that you made this request in bad faith.\u201d She signed the order. \u201cThe dog goes with Ms. Carter. And, Mr. Lawson, you\u2019ll be covering her attorney\u2019s fees for this portion of the hearing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Derek stormed out without his squeaky toy. The bailiff picked it up and handed it to Biscuit, who carried it proudly all the way to the parking lot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n On the way out, Judge Holloway stopped me in the hallway. \u201cI\u2019ve got two goldens at home,\u201d she said quietly. \u201cI\u2019ve never seen a dog choose that fast.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Biscuit and I live in a little house with a fenced yard now. He still sleeps with his head on my feet. And every time I hear a squeaky toy, I think about the morning the smartest member of our family decided where he belonged.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" When Derek and I split up after nine years, I let him have almost everything. The big TV. The leather couch. His precious boat. I didn\u2019t fight for any of it. I just wanted out \u2014 and I wanted Biscuit. Biscuit is a seven-year-old golden retriever with one floppy ear and a habit of sleeping …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":26735,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-26734","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cehre.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26734","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cehre.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cehre.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cehre.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cehre.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=26734"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/cehre.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26734\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":26736,"href":"https:\/\/cehre.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26734\/revisions\/26736"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cehre.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/26735"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cehre.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=26734"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cehre.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=26734"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cehre.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=26734"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}The squeak<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
The listing<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
After<\/h2>\n\n\n\n