Reason why Donald Trump’s poo is to be flown back to the US during visit to Turkey
US top dog Donald Trump touched down in the Turkish capital of Ankara yesterday (7 July) for the NATO Leaders Summit along with around 1,400 of his minions.
He’s clearly planning to stir things up, reiterating his demand to have Greenland, saying the US’ interim accord with Iran is over, and threatening to cut off all trade with Spain.
But amongst all the political noise, a very strange tradition is rearing its head once again.
Every time Trump, 80, relieves himself, the waste product will reportedly not touch foreign soil, according to Turkiye Today.
Instead, it’ll be collected in his personal toilet system, watched hawk-like by accompanying members of the Secret Service with pegs on their nose.
But what in God’s name is this all about?
Bizarrely, this is a long-established security protocol that prevents exploitation of the president’s biological matter – just in case foreign intelligence wishes to wade through the day before’s excreted meals, hoping to find something that they can use against the US.
In 2006, George W. Bush reportedly employed similar security measures during a visit to Vienna, with even Bush’s toilet paper flown back to the US Air Base at Ramstein, HuffPost reports.
And the practice apparently isn’t unique to the US.
According to French investigative journalists Regis Gente and Mikhail Rubin, Putin’s team collect his faeces in special bags and pack it all up in a suitcase to be flown back to Russia.
And he probably got the idea after Stalin reportedly tested the faeces of Mao Zedong to try and glean intelligence about his health.
Not only is Trump reportedly bringing a toilet system to Ankara, but his presidential limousine is even making the trip across the Atlantic Ocean.
The US political delegation will be the biggest of the whole summit; staying in hotels right next to the US Embassy.
Trump’s hotel will be fully absorbed by his people – no other guests are allowed to stay there while they do.
This comes as the entrepreneur-turned-politician insinuated that he influenced FIFA in its decision to suspend USA footballer Folarin Balogun’s red card ban for the team’s most recent match against Belgium.
Discussing this World Cup controversy at the White House, Trump said he called FIFA boss Gianni Infantino to ask him to delay the red card’s effect.
“I’m the one that got them to do it,” he declared in front of the cameras, before confessing he ‘didn’t know what the hell a red card was’ despite being a self-proclaimed sports nut.
“I’m a person that loves sports and was a good athlete and I understand sports really well, really well.
“That wasn’t a foul… that was two guys running full speed that happened to crash into each other. Like, you can’t take your foot and properly place it on somebody else’s foot… these were two great athletes that got tangled up.”
“This referee is a little bit suspect,” he suggested. “If you check his past, I don’t want to say that because I don’t like to create controversy, but very suspect.”
Sporting integrity was re-established though, as Balogun played the Round of 16 game and witnessed his team get slapped by the Belgians at the Seattle Stadium.
Goals from Charles De Ketelaere, Hans Vanaken and Romelu Lukaku clinched a 4-1 victory for the European side. They’ll next play Spain in the quarter-finals.